


Davekat Drabbles

by Rikudera



Category: Homestuck, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alcohol, Alien Biology, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bisexuality, Bulges and Nooks, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Drabble Collection, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Horn Stimulation, Horns, M/M, Mafiastuck, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Polyamory, Retcon Timeline, Trolls on Earth, Xeno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:53:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6537619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikudera/pseuds/Rikudera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of davekat drabbles, originally posted on Tumblr, most of them for mostlyharmless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Stairs That Never Were

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mostlyharmless](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlyharmless/gifts).



> None of these ever got beta'd, so some are a little rough around the edges. Please be gentle.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Davekat in Kingdom Hearts, blackrom

GC: H3Y K4RK4T  
CG: WHAT?  
GC: 1 B3T YOU DONT KNOW WHY TH3 SUN S3TS R3D  
CG: BECAUSE EVERYTHING ON THIS STUPID PLANET IS RED? DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST MY ICE CREAM IS MELTING RIGHT NOW? DO YOU KNOW WHY IT ALWAYS MELTS BEFORE I CAN FINISH IT? IT'S BECAUSE YOU DECIDED OUR SECRET HANGOUT WAS ON THE ONE PLANET WHERE THE MAJOR DEFINING FEATURE IS LAVA. I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT THE STAIRS HERE ARE PRETTY NICE, BUT EVEN THOSE AREN'T TALL ENOUGH TO MAKE UP FOR THE DAIRY-BASED TRAVESTY THAT IS CURRENTLY ALL OVER MY FRONDS.  
GC: 1TS B3C4US3 OUT OF 4LL TH3 COLORS R3D 1S TH3 ON3 TH4T T4ST3S TH3 MOST D3L1C1OUS

~*~*~*~*~

"Are you a hero, Mr. Strider,” a man known only as The Huss had asked Dave, “or are you a puppet?”

“Neither,” he’d replied, to the shock of both the mysterious orange man and the Mayor. “I’m a knight.” In order to back that statement up, he had to make sure his friends were okay. This meant he currently had to find this angry little troll, infiltrate the castle he was living in, beat the shit out of him, and drag him back to Kanaya. Then, his narcoleptic best bro would finally wake up, do the _real_ hero thing with his shiny pure heart, and rest of the bad guys would get the shit beat out of them, too.

But it was harder for Dave to live up to what he’d said when he had no idea what to do about Karkat himself. It had taken a solid month to figure out the stable time loops and ridiculous troll vernacular alone - because who the fuck named a room _Rumpusblock of Ruffiannihilation_ , anyway? - and it had taken another one to figure out which troll he was looking for in particular. Kanaya had said they couldn’t go back to the Ruins they’d been in before without getting caught, so Dave helped her and The Huss drag his best bro, Slick, and Droog over from Rays and Frogs to Pulse and Haze. She also said that Terezi wasn’t on their side when it came to Karkat, either, so it was up to Dave alone to find this Patron Troll of his friend’s.

Karkat was nothing like what Dave had expected him to be. It was hard to wrap his head around the fact that even _his best bro’s_ temporary grimdark state had created a troll just as unpleasant as all the others. _More_ unpleasant, even, since Kanaya had never made him want to stab things half as much. The first time they fought, Karkat wiped the floor with him, cursing and yelling at him the whole time. All Dave could think about during the fight was how Karkat’s twin sickles looked just like his best bro’s Zillyhoo and Anvil. He hated Karkat for being one of the reasons his friend wouldn’t wake up, and he hated the things that made his best bro go grimdark and make Karkat wiggle out of a puddle of slime in the first place.

“Your mistakes always end up being other peoples’ problems, don’t they, Dave?“ the cueball asshole in his head had said to him. “Who is going to bail you out this time?”

"Not listening, Doc,” he’d replied, as unemotionally as possible. Scratch - no, _Cal_ , his real name was _Cal_ \- could try and voodoo him all he wanted, but Dave could hold out, at least until he knew his best bro and Jade were both awake and safe.

“Haa haa hee hee hoo hoo, Dave. You cannot hope to defeat him without my help.”

“Keep twisting the cap on your poison-bottle, Doc. All you get is clicks.” If a legendary piece of shit and a pair of cool shades were all he had for his sword and shield, then he told himself he’d find a way to use them better in his second fight.

Dave’s second fight with Karkat was interrupted, however, when he found out about the Heiress. This girl swore up and down that she was a normal troll - and she was definitely close to Karkat and Terezi - but Jane was a human. What’s more, she was a sprite. Dave had only seen one winged sprite of himself in the Ruins, and combined with her resemblance to his friend, Jane could only be his best bro’s sprite. When Dave confronted her with the truth, Jane took off her gray makeup and fake horns, revealed her jester outfit, and admitted everything. She apparently had feelings so mixed they were a multi-layered cake, but after a few weeks of vacillation, followed by a private conversation with Kanaya, Jane agreed to help them out.

Karkat was so furious about Jane’s death-by-absorption that he sought out Dave himself. Dave didn’t argue with with Karkat’s accusations because he wanted to fight him too much. The two of them were more evenly matched the third time, and Karkat’s fury only increased when Dave slashed a crimson line in his side.

“You’ve got human blood,” Dave had said, stunned for a moment. Karkat abandoned his sickles and punched Dave in the jaw. “Why the fuck are you hanging around with a green-suited douche and his clown lackeys if you’ve got human blood?”

“Do you think I don’t know I’m a mutant?“ Karkat had retorted. ”Take those stupid sunglasses off, you smug albino nooksniffer, and we’ll see who’s the freak around here.” Dave punched him back. “Does the thought of your flawless charade tickle your imbecilic human thinkpan when you roll out of your cocoon in the evening? Do you write shitty raps about how clever you think you are? Are those pretentious shades just a big neon sign that says ‘nope, no horrorterror conversations going on here!’?“ They started wrestling on the ground, still kicking and punching.

“At least I know what I am, Nubby.” Dave pinned him to the ground, and Karkat glared up at him. “How do you know what color my eyes are? Jade’s been as far away as I can get her from you horned assholes for almost a year, and my Bro’s been dead _ten_ years, so who’s left?” Now, Karkat was baring his teeth up at Dave, something between a growl and chirping clicks escaping from his mouth. “Help me out, man. I can’t remember his name.”

“I’m _myself!_ ” Karkat shouted, louder than before, if it was even possible. “Paradox space goes out of its way to deliver me agony on a silver nutrition plateau every single fucking day, complete with plenty of reminders about that airheaded bulgestain, and I _still_ hate you more than I hate paradox space, that moronic, bucktoothed idiot, and myself _combined_.” He punched Dave in the kidneys and rolled them over, shoving him hard onto the ground. “I hate you for convincing Jane she wanted to kill herself, I hate you for being an arrogant douchenozzle and pathological fucking cluckbeast _liar_ at the same time, I hate you for never taking me seriously even when I’m shoolfeeding you so hard you swallow Gushers by the handful, and I hate how you refuse to realize that even though my existence is the most miserable one in the entirety of the universe’s bilious, croaking monstrosity, I have a fucking _life of my own!_ ”

“I hate you for being _born at all_ ,” Dave said, voice hollow and shoulders shaking so hard he felt like he was about to unravel completely. “I hate you, I hate you, I h-” Karkat smashed his lips against Dave’s, bruising and obsidian.

“And I hate how you never know when to shut up, Strider.”

“You’re the worst fucking hypocrite I’ve ever known, Vantas.“ They started making out, angry and sloppy, and afterwards, Dave had no idea how much of the blood on him was his. Kanaya would chide him later, first offering to intervene then not talking to him for a week when he bluntly refused. After that blew over, The Huss spent an entire day sweeping the mansion in the most threatening way possible, his broom moving in ways that made the horrorterrors writhe with delight and sent chills down Dave’s spine. Dave stood his ground, though, because he knew things had to be done in their own time.

Only when a very particular scale tipped and Dave found himself at the top of a very particular set of stairs at which Karkat stood at the bottom did things end as they should. They fought, they pailed, they fought some more, and then Dave finally got the guts to do what he came here to do. After it was all over, when the eldritch throes had ceased and he found himself looking like a long-winded cueball midget, Dave thought that even if he never talked to John and Jade again, that maybe Karkat could hate a hole through his nonexistence back to reality and fill in some of the white with blood.


	2. Party Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: meeting at a party whilst drunk, trolls on Earth

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS, and you are REALLY FUCKING DRUNK. You are so drunk, you are practically leaning against the LIVING ROOM WALL to remain standing up. You are so drunk, you CAN’T REMEMBER whose living room this is. You are even drunk enough to be COMPLETELY BAFFLED as to how you got this drunk in the first place.

Some SEADWELLER is leaning over at you. He has DOUCHEY HAIR and an UNLIT CIGARRETTE in his mouth. You’re trying to figure out where you know him from, but AREN’T QUITE MAKING IT.

“So then I said to him,” Douchefins smirks, “you wearing a helmet is like putting a wriggler’s shitty diapers behind bulletproof glass in a highblood nudeseum. And then he just started hissing at me, can you believe?”

“What,” you say, just staring at him. Why does this asshole think you care? How the hell did you get this fucking drunk?

“I know, it’s just so unbelievably rude,” he continues. Why is he still talking to you? “That’s why I’m pretty much never going to talk to that imbecile again.” You look around the room, trying to remember who you came here with. “Unless he starts shit with me, of course. Who even knows when that useless sack of putescence is going to open his smelly feedhole?” Was it Kanaya? “But enough about that; you, Nubby, are obviously someone who understands me.” Or was it Sollux?

“Don’t call me Nubby,” you reply reflexively. What did humans even put in their soda anyway? Why did you think it was a smart idea to have this much human soda?

“Oh, my bad,” Douchefins says. “We both know that’s a total myth anyway.” No, Sollux wouldn’t come to a party like this. “That is, from what I’ve seen.” It must have been Kanaya. “And I only see the best, you know.” Where’s Kanaya? “So why don’t we go make use of our oculars a little somewhere less crowded.” You don’t see Kanaya anywhere.

You think he reaches out to touch your shoulder, but another arm gets there first.

“Hey, man, I was looking all over for you,” the human says.

You have NO IDEA who this human is. He is ABOUT YOUR AGE and apparently thinks it is a GREAT IDEA to wear SUNGLASSES INDOORS. He looks KIND OF LIKE KANAYA’S MATESPRIT if you tilt your head to the side and study him closely, which you HAPPEN TO BE DOING ANYWAY. You don’t think he is the same person you came in with, but on the other hand, he is OBVIOUSLY NOT A SEATROLL. As to to whether he is a DOUCHEBAG or not, the JURY IS STILL OUT.

“I go back to my turntables for just a sec or two, and you’re all the way over here,” the human continues. You are at this point definitely sure you don’t know him, but you can’t figure out why he’s acting otherwise. “Do you even know this guy?” That, at least, is a question you can parse.

“No,” you say. Then, “Maybe. Don’t remember.” The human sighs dramatically.

“I know my attention’s been a little divided tonight, baby,” the human says, “but there’s no need to get so mad about it and take it out on me like this.” You are thankfully not too drunk to realize he is using ‘baby’ as an endearment rather than a descriptor.

“I’m not mad,” you reply, wrinkling your nose at him. You may be a lightweight, but you are not actually a wriggler.

“Of course not,” the human smiles, “but I wanna make it up to you. Let’s just spend some time together tonight.” You still haven’t figured out why a total stranger is being so lovey-dovey with you, but you are actually fairly certain you would rather be confused by him than deal with the confusion you had before he got here.

Speaking of Douchetroll, he is currently backing away and looking like he’s trying not to shit his pants. You decide to find this hilarious.

“Wait…” Douchetroll says, “he’s _your_ boyfriend?”

“You got a problem with that?” The human asks calmly.

“No!” Douchetroll waves his hands in front of his face. “No, no, no, of course not. We were just chatting, enjoying the atmosphere. Great music.” He takes another few steps back. “But I suddenly remembered that I have to be somewhere, so I’m gonna split.” He laughs nervously. “It’s been great.”

“See ya,” the human says. You lose sight of Douchetroll when the human turns to face you directly. “Are you okay? Do you want some water?”

“Water would be nice,” you say. You let him lead you into another room, leaning heavily.

“What’s your name?” he asks. “I’m Dave, by the way.”

“Karkat,” you say.

You are now standing around in a HUMAN KITCHEN that happens to be QUITE LARGE. There are POTS AND PANS on one of the walls, and the HUMAN REFRIGERATOR is COVERED IN MAGNETIC LETTERS. The only other people in the KITCHEN are TWO TROLLS YOU DON’T KNOW, who are engaging in SLOPPY MAKEOUTS, and KANAYA’S MATESPRIT, who is SIPPING AND STITCHING.

“Making the rounds this early?” the human girl asks. Rose. Her name is Rose. “Who do I need to maim tonight?” Her voice is chilly, and you lean into Dave a little more.

“Seatroll with a greaser haircut,” Dave replies. “he’s probably on his way out already, but you might wanna check just in case.”

“You’re Rose,” you say. Now that her attention’s on you, Rose’s expression turns downright freezing.

“It might be a murder this time,” she comments. Her grip on her needlework is worrying at best.

“You’re really gonna run up a carpet-cleaning bill, at this rate,” Dave says. “Do you know how hard it is to find companies that don’t ask why the blood they’re washing out is a different color from last time? We’re running out of adoptive relatives.” You have no idea why he’s talking about carpets.

“He’s Kanaya’s moirail,” Rose says, arctic.

“Shit,” Dave says.

“Is Kanaya here?” you ask, privately congratulating yourself on remembering it was her you came in with.

“Since Rose seems to be on homicide duty,” Dave answers, “I’ll go find Kanaya for you. Gotta queue up more of the setlist, anyway. Stay put, okay?” He starts to detach his arm from your shoulder, but you cling.

“Don’t go,” you say quietly. Dave freezes. “Can’t stand up anyway.” Dave looks at Rose silently. Rose stares back. You decide you’re not going to budge.

“COPS COMING CLEAR OUT!!!” Rose shouts suddenly, cupping her hands around her mouth. The rest of the house is suddenly filled with what can only be described as panicky, escaping teenagers. You’d wish you could see it, but you don’t want to move. The best view you get is the two other trolls in the kitchen suddenly becoming a lot less oblivious. “Scram,” Rose says, still holding her needlework. They comply. Three minutes later, you have drunk a glass of actual water, the rest of the house is empty, and Kanaya is in the kitchen. “Care to participate in a murder?”

Kanaya takes one look at the configuration of the room and is instantly petting at your hair. She is the best moirail.

“No murdering,” you tell her. “I wanna sit down.” Kanaya lifts you up, carries you into the now-empty living room, and sets you down on a couch. Dave and Rose are quick to follow. “Nobody told me human soda had so much shit in it.”

“I would really like to saw somebody in half,” Kanaya says. At least there isn’t all that loud music anymore.

“ _No_ ,” you repeat. “Maiming has to be outside and not now. Or they won’t have a carpet anymore.” Or something like that, anyway. The details are still hazy. “Did I ruin your carpet?” you ask Rose.

“Our carpet is fine,” Rose says. “I’ll jot the appointment in my schedule.” You wrinkle your nose again and curl a little more on Kanaya’s lap. An awkward silence descends upon the room.

“Let’s play a video game,” Dave says suddenly, springing towards the TV. “Nothing like Super SBURB to get the itch out of that chainsaw finger, right?”

“I’m gonna beat your ass with the MAID,” you tell him, finding yourself smiling like a moron.

“Dude, you haven’t seen me with the HEIR,” he replies, tossing everyone a controller. You miss by a mile.

“He only says that because he spams the special move all the time,” Rose comments idly as she scrolls through the character roster, eventually settling on the KNIGHT. Dave makes a face at her.

“I don’t need a controller to beat you at this game,” you say.

“Karkat,” Kanaya says, picking the WITCH, as usual, “it’s the MAID that has the telekinetics, not you.” She’s the best moirail.

“Right,” you say, snuggling comfortably. “Get me the controller,” you tell Dave. You’re probably still smiling because you’re really drunk.

“Here you go,” he says. Maybe he’s smiling back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has art over [here](http://karkatvantasistrans.tumblr.com/post/128539049382/doodles-i-did-after-reading-this-fic-bc-i-love-the)! Thanks a bunch!


	3. Visibly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Bisexual Visibility Day.

“Howww…” you drag the question out like you haven’t just finished talking about more awkward things than this, “how did you tell your friends?”  
  
“I, uh… didn’t exactly say anything that verbally put myself into a specific category,” Dirk says, after a short silence, “due to things like living in a post-apocalyptic waterworld future making certain concepts and terms obsolete, or maybe just… bullshitting myself into having an excuse for them to be obsolete, so.” That seems like a lot of mental gymnastics you don’t have the patience for. “I guess what I’m saying is I… just made some things very obvious to the point they said it on their own without me having to say it myself. So that’s… probably not the best example, now that I’ve gone and explained that equally as badly.”  
  
“Oh,” you say. You can’t tell if that makes you feel more or less nervous about it. You’re not against performance art, as a rule, but it’s going to be really difficult to act like you don’t give a fuck about it when you do, if you are brutally honest with yourself, give a good solid truckload of fucks about it. “I’ll just… wing it then, I guess.” That sounds a great idea, except in the ways that it’s completely terrifying.  
  
But not saying anything to them - or god forbid, having to actively deny it - would make you feel worse, you think.  
  
“I guess you could just… wait for an opportune moment?” Dirk suggests. Is he trying to cheer you up? You can’t tell.  
  
“Sure,” you hear yourself saying.  
  
*~*~*~*

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]  
CG: SO IT TURNS OUT THAT KANAYA DECIDED THE BEST WAY TO KEEP ME “SAFE” UNTIL ECHIDNA NEEDED ME IN THE NEW FROG-UNIVERSE WAS TO KNOCK ME THE FUCK OUT COLD IN A ROOM FULL OF LAVA.  
TG: what are you doing in a room full of fucking lava  
CG: BUT I JUST HAD A VERY INFORMATIVE NAP, SO IT WAS PROBABLY FOR THE BEST.  
TG: please tell me youre not gonna melt or anything  
CG: JADE TELEPORTED ME OUT. I GUESS I SHOULD’VE SAID FIRST THAT SHE’S AWAKE NOW, TOO.  
TG: the whole not being boiled part shouldve come first  
TG: youre okay right  
CG: I’M FINE, DUMMY <3  
  
Oh shit, he’s doing that adorable thing where he fake-insults you while using a cheesy emoticon. Why are you so weak to that.  
  
TG: im getting mad embarrassed by how delicate and meltable you are dude <3  
CG: IN ANY CASE!  
CG: JADE TOLD ME THAT ECHIDNA SAID SHE WANTED TO TALK TO YOU TOO. WE HAVE TO HAVE SOME KIND OF FROG PARTY, OR SOMETHING.  
CG: I OBVIOUSLY COULDN’T UNDERSTAND THE GOBBLEDEGOOK DENIZEN-SPEAK THEY WERE DOING, BUT THAT’S WHAT JADE TOLD ME.  
CG: OH, AND WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT OF NEARLY BEING MURDERED, YOU COULD’VE TOLD ME THAT YOU AND TEREZI AND DIRK BEAT JACK.  
TG: there was a lot going on  
TG: i was distracting him by listening to lord english make weird and creepy threats at me  
TG: terezi was egging him on and swooping at him like a bat with her blindfold and dragon jetpack  
TG: and then dirk did some weird magic stuff with lightning and killed him and thats the end  
TG: i mean we can go into detail if you have jade teleport us over there and stuff  
  
C'mon…  
  
CG: STRIDER, YOU CHEEKY EXCUSE FOR A RAGAMUFFIN (:B  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]  
  
Yesss.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
“You’re really okay?” you ask Karkat in a low voice, while Dirk and Terezi are recounting the short-version story of your fight against Jack.  
  
“I told you,” he answers, “Jade got me out of Echidna’s lair before the lava got high enough to reach me.” You can see his lips twitch like he’s trying not to smile. “Your reading comprehension is abysmal.”  
  
“You don’t look like you’re burned to a crisp, or anything, at least.”  
  
“I’m perfectly fine, stupid ♥️” You can hear the emoticon again.  
  
“Lava is some serious shit,” you assert. “I had to check ♥️” Whoops, there it goes. It’s never as much a verbal emoticon for you as it is a faint raise in temperature of tone from absolutely cool to teasingly lukewarm. “So, what was that nap about?” Karkat looks away, then back to you. “Did it have to do with frog stuff?” Karkat… isn’t going to say anything?  
  
It’s only then that you notice John and Jade are staring at you and Karkat, which apparently everyone has noticed but you. You freeze. Behind them, Dirk is flashing you a thumbs-up like a total asshole.  
  
“Hey, Vantas,” Dirk says, arm flashed back down in another millisecond and walking over to him, “Terezi and I need to update you on the Jack situation. You’ve got experience dealing with one of the Jacks, don’t you?”  
  
“…Yeah,” Karkat says, like he can hear the bullshit but is choosing not to make any sudden moves and to let it slide for the time being.  
  
“Great,” Dirk says, even going so far as to team up with Terezi to physically herd Karkat out of the room.  
  
_Wing it_ , Dirk mouths to you silently.  
  
_Fuck you_ , you turn as they leave and mouth back. Then, another moment later, _Ok_. He just gives a pixel of a smirk at you.  
  
“Uh…” you say when you turn back around, because you’re just that eloquent, “sup?”  
  
“Dave,” Jade begins, voice such a deliberate calm you start to hope that this won’t be the verbal equivalent of a root canal, “I didn’t know you and-”  
  
“Dave, I’m really confused,” John says. Oh god. “When we on the giant lily pad, and we were talking about… stuff like alien forms of dating and preconceived notions of human dating and stuff,” oh god oh god, “I’m pretty sure I remember asking you if you were gay.”  
  
“That sure was the question you decided to ask,” you reply.  
  
“And you said you weren’t.”  
  
“Right.” Forget the root canal, John’s just pulling the metaphorical teeth left and right.  
  
“So… were you lying?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“But you were talking to Karkat just now,” John continues, frowning, “and I’m pretty sure I heard some emoticons in there! And you were making a face I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen since Davesprite made that face two years ago.”  
  
“What does this have to do with Davesprite?” you ask, nonplussed.  
  
“Not a lot, apparently,” John grouses, “since he’s part of Davepeta now and I guess in this universe you’re in some sort of… _institution_ with Karkat.”  
  
“Are you asking if me and Karkat are dating?” Where the hell does he get off calling it an _institution_ , anyway?  
  
“Are you?” Jade asks, voice still in that strange, forced calm.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“So you _are_ gay,” John says.  
  
“ _No_ ,” you say. Is he aggravating you on purpose?  
  
“Is it because Karkat’s an alien?” John asks.  
  
“Just because Karkat’s an alien, or come from an alien culture, it doesn’t mean he’s _not a dude_ ,” you retort sharply. John actually has the grace to blanch at that, which is a relief in itself. And anyway, even if John actually knows anything about troll _alienness_ , all it means is that you can… catch the crab by the claw and eat him, too.  
  
…Okay, that’s a really _terrible_ metaphor, even for you; you’re going to have to tell Karkat about it later, when you’re not busy going out of your mind with frustration.  
  
“I didn’t mean it like that!” John says. “I’m just confused about what you’re trying to say.”  
  
“He’s saying that him and Karkat are dating,” Jade says, though she won’t look at you when she says it, oh god oh no.  
  
“No, I just…” John is chewing on his lip. You don’t want to start to resent him about this, of all things, but you at least wish the wheels in his head would be a little more considerate and turn a little faster. “If you and Karkat are dating, but you’re not gay, then what are you?” You’re a person who wishes for a pit to open beneath your feet and swallow you whole to save you from the embarrassment.  
  
But you’re beginning to suspect that he just… legit doesn’t know.  
  
“I think the word you’re looking for is bisexual,” you say, even as you feel like a tool for saying it like that. Please, _please_ let that pit open.  
  
“So is that like… halfway homosexual and halfway heterosexual?”  
  
“ _No_ , it’s not,” you reply, getting more and more frustrated the longer this trainwreck of a conversation drags on. Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything, after all. “It’s more…” you try to find an appropriate, vaguely circular hand gesture, “more like the whole thing at once.”  
  
“…That’s a thing?” John asks, his voice pitching up at the end. He’s the most sheltered soul you’ve ever met. You want to drag your hands down the sides of your face and scream.  
  
“It’s a thing,” Jade says slowly. She looks kind of nonplussed in a different way, and you feel like a jerk.  
  
“So it’s not like just because Karkat and me are a thing means I’ve never…” oh shit, this is so awkward, “been into girls, because I have,” you’re going to run at the mouth again, you can feel it, this is going to be a disaster, “it just means I’m currently dating a guy, and the fact that he’s an alien has nothing to do with it, so that’s just the situation right now, and I just wanted to be honest about the whole situation that I’m talking about now ‘cause it feels _weird_ to not talk about it ‘cause that makes it seem like the whole _concept_ is weird or hard to understand when it’s really, _really_ , not any of those things, and I just wanted to say it without it becoming some kind of federal fucking _issue_ , but I guess I’ve turned it into one anyway!” You realize that you’re shouting, and you can’t tell when that started happening, but you drop back down to a mumble anyway. “That’s all I really wanted to say, so I’ll just… quit while I’m ahead and go now.”  
  
“You don’t have to quit anything,” Jade says. “I understand it.” And now she looks kind of like a - hahaha, you’re hilarious - kicked puppy about it, but you don’t think she hates you for it or anything. “I’m happy for you guys.” She’s even nice enough to avoid making it too terribly awkward, that’s… actually a relief.  
  
“…Thanks,” you say. You still kinda wanna book it, though. John hasn’t said anything in a while. “So… that’s that.” You’ve got to change the subject before you do something even more embarrassing, like yell again, or cry, or something. “Why don’t we go back to talking about the frog, or Lord English, or the sprite^2s, or something equally more appealing than this.”  
  
“Dave…” Jade starts.  
  
“Let’s go find another denizen to snake-babble with,” you say, a little desperately. “Let’s chat about what the Horrorterrors look like, or the probably-not-distant inevitability of painful and permanent death.”  
  
“Dave, I’m sure-”  
  
“Oh, I think I get it now,” John says. Oh god. You’re not going to hyperventilate. You’re not even going to scream at him, even though you have a very strong urge to do exactly that. “It’s like how Armageddon is a better Liv Tyler movie than Jersey Girl, but Con Air is a better Nic Cage movie than National Treasure, except you could actually like Liv Tyler _and_ Nic Cage enough that even their bad movies are good to you, right?”  
  
“Okay, first of all,” you reply, “All of those movies are bad, and second of all, for the record, I have higher standards than Nic fucking Cage,” you take a deep, _deep_ breath, “but… basically, yeah.” Oh, John actually looks contrite again. You’re still kind of emotionally drained, though.  
  
“So, uh… you and Karkat are a thing now,” John says.  
  
“We’ve been a thing for a while,” you reply.  
  
“In the way that you like each other, or the way that you hate each other?” He’s not going to ask for all the details of your relationship with Karkat now, is he?  
  
“…In the way that we like each other,” you answer.  
  
“Okay,” John says. Oh thank god. “Now I can revive my list of Most Effective Pranks for Couples.”  
  
“John!” Jade lightly whaps him on the head.  
  
“Ow!” It probably shouldn’t, but John’s protest drains away the rest of your tension.  
  
“We’ve got to finish the Game first,” Jade says. “Pranks can wait until after.”  
  
“I heard there was more frog stuff,” you venture. Jade looks back at you. “Maybe you can fill me in?”  
  
“…Alright,” Jade says.


	4. Space Oddity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: adventures in space, no sad endings

Your name is Dave Strider (all the official government paperwork says David, but you do what you want) and your ship has traveled a full three years beyond the wormhole. John and Rose and all the other crew are still in cryogenic sleep, but you and Jade are awake for these first few days until you start your descent towards the selected planet.

The ship’s computer assistant (someone decided to call him Hal in a fit of irony) woke you two up early because he detected an anomaly, and you’ve got the list training with this sort of thing.

“So what’ve we got?” you ask Jade around a protein bar. Cryo always makes you ravenous, go figure.

“A non-asteroidal anomaly,” she responds mid-squat. Her response tends toward exercise; you figure you did enough of that on the ISS to not have to do it every waking second you’re somewhere with better gravity settings. The new planet is supposed to have 1.8 times Earth gravity, so just exploring should be plenty. “It’s mostly metal,” she adds, with a grin.

“So your alien-construction theories are coming back full force?” you ask. You smile back, but only if someone were to look very, very carefully. “Someone wake Rose up so we can ask her the odds on that.” Jade, being Jade, smooches you right on the mouth.

“You’re gonna owe me so bad,” she says.

“Okay, okay, save that kind of exercise for later,” you say. Jade sticks her tongue out at you. “I wanna see the anomaly.

“I’m still warming the sensors up,” she says. “It should only be a few minutes until-”

[Whoa, hey,] Hal’s voice echoes through the comma. [I'm glad you lovebirds are up, but you’ve got to check out this rad data I’ve compiled. I’m getting some weird vibes, here. And by vibes, I mean EM waves.]

“Report,” Jade orders.

[Bossy, bossy.]

“What asshole even programmed you?” you ask, rhetorically. You already know the answer cause the answer is asleep with John and Rose and he’s your brother.

[Dave, did you know that John installed a new humor subroutine in me just before you all took that legendary nap?]

“Report!!!” Jade orders again.

[Okay, jesus. Here’s the data.] Hal spits out the data to the terminal Jades in front of.

“Oh my god,” Jade says, putting a hand to her mouth.

“What is it?”

“Someone’s alive on that thing,” she says.

“Hal, can you give us a visual?” you ask quickly.

[Working on it…]

But the other person reaches you first. Every single monitor switches to an image of that persons face.

“Attention humans,” the person is saying. “Hopefully I was able to translate your messages correctly, in which case you should be able to understand my words. If I fucked up again, it’s honestly nothing new, but at least you’ll know that we’re out here.”

“Holy shit,” you say. “He’s an alien. All the horns and gray and-”

“I’m trying to get this message out,” the alien continues, “because my ship has received messages sent by you humans while looking for life on other planets. We are here, and we are very, very real.”

“I knew it,” Jade says.

“You need to run from here as fast as you can before she finds out you exist,” the alien says.

“What?” You freeze.

“Our Imperious Condesension is a tyrant, and she will stop at nothing to conquer and enslave your planet,” the alien continues. “To go against her will is equal to suicide. I have… had to make many sacrifices to get this out to you. I had a moirail on this ship…” He trails off.

“What’s a moirail, Hal?” you ask.

[Still translating, sorry. This is totally blowing my robo-mind, by the way.]

“But I’ll save my thoughts about that for later,” the alien says, crimson eyes with yellow sclera pooling with unshed tears. “I’m the only one left on this vessel, and if you go back through the wormhole, I can commandeer the helmsman here, blow the hole up behind you, and make it look like a mutiny. There is still time for you to escape.”

“He’s so sad…” Jade says. You reach out your hand to her, and she takes it, gripping you tightly.

“You have to leave,” the alien insists. “No one can stand against the Alternian Empire, least of all a blasphemous mutant and a handful of unprepared aliens.”

“We…” you start. He looks so scared.

“Dave,” Jade says, “are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“We have to save him,” you say.

[Should I put up a token logical resistance here, or-]

“Shut up, bro, you’re outvoted.”

[Thought so. Detouring the ship to the alien vessel and preparing the quarantine area.]

“Wake up John and Rose, too,” Jade adds.

[Affirmative. Let’s get the alien party started.]

*~*~*~*

“What the freshly-mown fucking are you pair of dumb donkeys coordinating?” Karkat demands from the other side of the quarantine glass.

“You gotta work on your translations, dude,” you respond. “I think the grammatically correct words you’re searching for are fuck and dumbass.”

“I’m going to insert my entire grammar tongue into your snotty dark eye shields,” Karkat says. “You should have left this space two days ago, and I should be blowing up the wormhole.”

“I’m afraid you’re too important a specimen to just abandon,” Rose says, furiously typing notes into her tablet.

“Plus, our government has decided they won’t cower to foreign regimes,” John adds.

“You’re all going to decease,” Karkat says. “I should already be deceased, my heretic blood abnormality not counted among my large list of felon crimes enforced by painful capital punishment.”

“Can we keep him?” you ask Jade. “I’ll take good care of him, I promise.”

Jade smiles at you, then turns to Karkat again.

“Explain your blood abnormality to us,” she says. We don’t understand why you talk about your blood so much.“

"My blood is not on the color-line. Any contradiction to the color-line is illegal. My ancestor was the leader of a violence-defecit rebellion against the Empress,” Karkat says, grimacing, his fangs on full display. “He was regarded by some as a story-teller of a new way of life, and he was painfully tortured and executed for his rebellion, but his movement lived on. The elders tell me I am the second appearance of his person, but I think they are filled with excrement.” He pulls a necklace out from under his uniform. “This is the symbol of how he was killed until dead, and as you can observe it is the same as my designated name symbol. False information was hacked into the helmsman about my blood.”

“Holy shit, you’re Space Jesus,” you say.

“We’re picking up some frequencies being transferred to the alien ship,” John says at the same time. “I’m putting the audio on for Karkat to translate.” A garbled message erupts from the speakers, and Karkat’s mouth drops open.

[I’m translating the alien language as fast as I can, guys, but I need more data.]

“Karkat, what are they saying?” Jade asks.

“They’re trying to contact the captain of my vessel,” Karkat answers. “They have secret information of a revolutionary leader on board.” He looks at you and Jade. “In the name of your Space Jesus, if you think I have value of a single insect on the underside of a protective foot covering, do not let them find me.”

“We won’t,” Jade says, tone serious.

“Yeah,” you agree. You only take her hand again because you’re terrified. “We got your back.”

Karkat gives you a smile that’s fighting between disbelieving and relieved, crimson tears threatening to spill over again.

“I entrust you with my spine area. I love you human fuck biscuits,” he says.

“It’s mutual,” Jade says.


	5. Thunderstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to Invent the Mafia  
> 1\. Get a magic ring powered by godlike alien entities.  
> 2\. Piss off literally everyone in Sicily.  
> 3\. Set your hair on fire and punch a lot of people until they believe in the power of friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Mafia AU, bonus John ships and magical powers included free of charge

JOHN: what would garibaldi do, dave?  
DAVE: thats a question you need to ask way less john  
JOHN: he'd punch people with fire, dave. that's what he'd do.  
DAVE: e buonanotte al secchio

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So we’re in an alliance now, huh,” Dave says. He squares his shoulders cause he’s good at that.

“The dedication and cameraderie between my family and John's family will be spoken in the reverent tones of a thousand besuited racketeerers for generations to come,“ Karkat replies, scowling back. He is way too short for that to be effective, though. Italians are already short enough, but he’s made half-pint-ness into a competition sport.

“Yeah, I know we pinky swore on our shiny new supernatural rings and everything,” Dave continues, “but I gotta make a few things clear with you before you finish convincing Egbert he’s the next Garibaldi.”

“Do you think your badly concealed, blustering threats are actually going to work on me, Strider?” Karkat asis, raising an eyebrow. “Or are you just full of hot air because you’ve mistakenly doubted our chances of real, tangible change?”

“It’s tradition,” Dave insists, offended. If he had pearls, he would be clutching them. This is how badly Karkat and that wonderful, stupid, charismatic Egbert are shunning decades of common-sense that until now here upheld by bloody retribution to the slightest misstep. “Also, I’m not trying to conceal the threats. I’m just being polite cause it wouldn’t be fair otherwise.” He takes his guardianship of Egbert seriously, even if no one else has the stamina for 24/7 dedication to a childhoold-friend-cum-fledgeling-organized-crime-family-boss.

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Dave says, holding his new ring-sword as close to Karkat as he can without breaking skin, “that if I find out a single hair on John’s head is out of place because of anything you were r _esponsible for_ , you are going to feel the constant, unending wrath of my displeasure, and it will be a thunderstorm so profound, you will be _begging_ me to remember I’m a reformed man these days.” Karkat just narrows his eyes and juts his chin out.

“He likes me too much, and you don’t have the balls to make him cry if I die.”

Dave puts his sword away. So there’s a reason Vantas is a boss, after all, even if all this authority is based in vigilantism.

“I’m still watching you,” Dave says sullenly. “I find out any of this new weather-magic jewelry has a demonic curse or something attached to it, and you’ll be feeling the retribution of more deity than one.”

“Your paranoia’s going to get the best of you one day, if you don’t hold it in line,” Karkat says. Dave doesn’t dignify that observation with a response because he’s already got John for paranoia-wrangling. “And we’re going to change the fucking world.” All Dave has to do is ask what’s the worst that could happen to the world, and John promises he’ll save it through faith, optimism, obtsinancy, and if all else fails, sheer firepower.

“For everyone’s sake, I hope so,” Dave says, then turns on his heel and walks away cause he’s guesses he’s got the most powerful Famiglia in the world to help run, or something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _buonnanote al secchio_ translates to "goodbye to the bucket", and basically means "we're screwed"


	6. Corpse Party in Pupa Pan's Dubstep Afterlife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't play in lava, you can only die in lava. Pale with a chance of sparkling cider.

Welp. Looks like you’re dead. Yep, there are two stab wounds on you and everything.  
  
Where are you, anyway? This dream bubble is nice and green. Lots of water, though. And lily pads, so this must be a frog planet, but it doesn’t look like Jade’s. You’ll go back to Jade’s soon enough, anyway.  
  
Someone yelps behind you, and you hear a splash. You spin, and see a grey hand dart out of the pond to grasp onto a lily pad. The hand slips, then reaches again. You hop a few lily pads and reach down to help.  
  
With a soft grunt and another yelp from your companion, you haul a bleeding Karkat out of the water. He flails, and you both flop down onto the lily pad.  
  
“Ugh,” Karkat says. Then, “thanks.”  
  
“No problem, dude,” you reply. “Glad I caught you while I’m still here.”  
  
“Are you from the alpha timeline?” Karkat asks. He’s still lying on top of you.  
  
“Think so.” Karkat sighs. “Which timeline are you from?”  
  
“The one where Gamzee is an asshole,” he says, sitting up, grimacing.  
  
“Isn’t that all of them?” you ask. Karkat laughs bitterly, which makes you sit up, too. He’s 110 max soaking wet - literally - and his fury is compacted within him like carbon hardening into diamond. “Is he the one that killed you?”  
  
“Right in the sign.” Karkat looks down and points to his own chest, with its two matching stab wounds. “I was trying to get at him for what he did to Terezi, but he just…” he lets his hand fall, fingertips stained red as he looks at you, “…he threw me off a fucking cliff into a pool of lava.”  
  
Shit, he’s alpha timeline, too. Or will be, until you have to change that.  
  
“Mine was Jack again,” you tell him, quiet. You’d just… you’d just wanted to help Jade, that was all. “And the other Jack too, I guess.” Karkat looks even more furious now, if possible. His white eyes are leaking fury so hot it’s burning. “I’ll… I’ll fix everything when I go back.” You swallow and pat his shoulder; he slumps into you. You can feel him frowning into your collarbone.  
  
“I don’t know if being aware that I’m from a doomed timeline makes me feel better at all,” Karkat says. You move you hand from his shoulder to his back, and it doesn’t feel weird at all when you rub slow circles as he curls tighter, almost into your lap.  
  
“At least we know we have to get rid of Serket, pt.II,” you reply. He’s poking holes into your cape with his nails, but you don’t mind because it’s got holes in it already. “And the other versions of us will kick her ass, and Gamzee’s ass, and Jack’s ass, and even fishqueen’s ass.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“And I’ll bring Jade back to Crocker,” you continue, “and she can get revived, too.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“And we can all have a frog party together, you and me and Jade and Kanaya,” you add.  
  
“ _Yeah_ ,” Karkat straightens up to look at you again.  
  
“-and Rose can use her Seer powers to help us figure out how to escape Lord English-”  
  
“Yeah!”  
  
“-and someone’ll find out where John went-”  
  
“ _Yeah!_ ”  
  
“-and-”  
  
“I don’t, uh, mean to interrupt, because this is actually really cute, but…” Both you and Karkat freeze. Your twin smiles crash back down in surprise, and you both turn to face the interloper.  
  
“I’m pretty sure both you guys are from the alpha timeline,” Tavros Nitram says, floating a little ways above your and Karkat’s heads. “Also, I owe Nepeta fifty boonbucks now, which is your fault, because I was guessing black.”  
  
“…What?” you ask. Karkat is still silent, and although both of you have more blood smeared on you than before, it’s impossible to tell whose is whose. “No, I’m gonna go back like any minute now and fix everything.”  
  
“You’ve been in this pile for, uh, quite a while,” Tavros says. “I think, if you were going to go back, it would have happened already.”  
  
The thought of not coming back sinks in. You sway.  
  
“Dave?” Karkat asks. You look back at him. His face is red.  
  
“I just…” You were just trying to help; it’s not that extraordinary, is it? “I just wanted to…” Karkat’s hand is still on your back. You don’t know what to think.  
  
You’d do it again, though.  
  
“Should I leave,” Tavros asks, “to give you two your privacy?” You look back up at him.  
  
“I…” You look back to Karkat. He’s peering at you closely, eyebrows furrowed, but he doesn’t look angry anymore. “We’re fine,” you tell Tavros.  
  
“That’s great,” Tavros responds, “because Aradia wanted to have a corpse party, to welcome all the new faces, and the other Dave who was gonna do it got kind of, um, blasted by Lord English, so we don’t have a dj, anymore.”  
  
“Well, shit,” you say. You really are dead for real, aren’t you? “Can’t ruin the corpse party, can we?”  
  
“What are we going to do?” Karkat asks. You can still see a faint dusting of crimson in his face, but you don’t mind it as much as you thought you would.  
  
“We’re going to party, Vantas,” you respond. “You have to party with me.”  
  
“…Sure, why not?” Karkat sighs.  
  
“Excellent,” Tavros says, “follow me, please.” You haul both you and Karkat to your feet, then into the air. Tavros starts flying towards the frog temple, and you follow close behind. “We’re going to have sparkling cider, and Caffeine-Free Negative-Diet Troll Tab…”  
  
“Fucking sparkling cider, yes,” you say.  
  
“…and there’s going to be a short stage play, by Nepeta’s other roleplay friends, that she says is about shoes, or something, and a Troll Kentucky Smith marathon, but only the first seven, in the Legislacerator Order, and…”  
  
“What’s that noise?” Karkat asks. You can hear the heavy bass all the way outside.  
  
“Sollux just set the system to permanent wub,” Tavros replies, “until I found another Dave, who was dead, which is you.”  
  
“We better get going, then,” you say.  
  
“We’ll come up with something,” Karkat says to you, under the wubbing.  
  
“Yeah.” You’re not gonna let it end here. “ _Yeah_.”


	7. Fell For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Young punks waking up.

“I never have normal dreams anymore,” you’re complaining to Rose for the millionth time. “Ever since all that rainbow dimensional-shatter bullshit, it’s just like I’m wandering through some loser hipster troll’s memories ad nauseum. I miss the good old days when it was just birds and death and shit. At least I was used to that.”

“Do you really mean that?” Rose asks, looking up from the giant book she’s writing in. You contemplate shrugging, but decide not to bother.

“Nah,” you admit. “I don’t actually miss that. I’m just really, really bored.”

“You could write another rap about Obama,” Rose suggests. “The last one was actually approaching tolerable.”

“That’s so played out now,” you reply. You try pillowing your head in your folded arms. It doesn’t really work. “Maybe I should just start rapping about various cataclysms and the inevitability of destruction only becoming more widespread as this stupid rock hurls itself through the void. Running from an alien on magic steroids, tried to escape, he said i’m already here, hey boy, you, boy, gotta show you my green sun machine gun toy.”

“What was that, Dave?” Rose asks. “You’re starting to mumble again.”

“The inevitability of cataclysmic destruction,” you repeat, louder, though you don’t lift your head.

“Something cheerful, for a change,” Rose comments idly.

“There you are, Strider. I’ve been searching for you for hours. Get up and stop being morbid.”

You lift your head.

“Oh, hey, Karkat,” you say. “Rose and I were just rapping about death and the void and stuff. Want to join us?” Karkat makes a face.

“Okay, that’s it,” Karkat hauls you to your feet, then scowls up at you from somewhere around your shoulder. “It’s time for some theraputic democratic service.” He starts dragging you out of the room.

“Bye, Rose,” you call back to her over your shoulder. “If I’m not back in twelve hours, send a search party.”

“Have fun,” she replies, giving you sly grin before going back to writing.

“So are we going to Can Town now?” you ask Karkat.

“We can,” he replies, still dragging you, “but I think the Mayor was busy hiding from Vriska when I saw him last.”

“Do we need to rescue him? is he hiding in the cans?” There’s another idea for a rap; you do what you can with the cans, you do a cancan when you can, and what you can’t do, you can.

…Nah, too repetitive.

“I think he’s okay now?” Karkat responds. “Terezi told me she made a plan to distract Vriska for the rest of the evening.”

“So where are we going?”

“I was bored,” Karkat says, shrugging.

“Oh, thanks, dude.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, moron. But you were being creepy, and if I can at least rescue Rose from that, then that’s almost as good.”

“Rose is way creepier than me, though,” you point out. “I was telling her how weird it was that I only dream about alien hipsters now, instead of like, death and blood and stuff, and Little Miss Zoologically Dubious didn’t even blink once.”

“You should do what I do,” Karkat says.

“What’s that?”

“I don’t sleep.”

“That can’t be healthy,” you say. “No wonder you’re so short.” Karkat scowls at you, but keeps dragging.

“I’d rather be short than have to listen to another speech from that excrement spewer in the red turtleneck.”

“While I can totally see how that’s a reasonable conclusion to arrive at, there’s gotta be a better solution,” you say. A way for you to solve both your problems at the same time. Hmm…

“Unless you want to switch and have my dreams, while I have your dreams, I don’t know how-”

“That’s it.” You stop in your tracks.

“…What’s it?” Karkat halts as well.

“We’ve just got to go to sleep in the same place at the same time,” you declare. “Then, we can keep each other from being bored.”

“And how are we supposed to do that, Strider?”

“We’ll use our present boredom to our advantage,” you say. Karkat raises a single eyebrow at you. “No, I’ve got a plan. What I need you to do is to find me the longest, most pointless, most incoherent troll movie you can think of.”

Karkat gives a little gasp, then stares at you decisively.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment,” he says. “I am going to schoolfeed you so hard you’ll be counting woolbeasts for days.”

*~*~*

You curl up on the softest, squishiest couch, armed with a heavy knitted blanket and one copy of _In Which a Recently-Demoted Tealblood Travels to Organize Harlequin Funerary Services for his Subjugglator Auspistice While Finding Pale Romance with a Quirky Yet Surprisingly Deep Seadweller; Contains Nine Instances of Tap-Dancing, Three Jokes at the Expense of Nuveau-Riche Ceruleans, Seventy-Five Clown-Related Deaths (Fifteen Accidental), and Five Existential Phone Calls_ , et cetera.

“How is this movie so _terrible_ ,” you say.

“I tried to like it,” Karkat replies groggily, snuggling deeper in the blanket. “I tried really, really hard.”

“It’s not even so bad it wraps back around to hilarious,” you grouse, blinking heavy. “It’s just… _there_.”

“It’s the worst,” Karkat says, down to a normal volume, leaning his head against your shoulder.

“Yeah.” Karkat doesn’t reply. You look down.

Karkat’s asleep. He actually looks peaceful like this, all the angry lines of his bristly eyebrows smoothed out, his fangs poking out the tiniest bit over his bottom lip, his breathing evening out.

“Karkat?” you ask softly. He makes a quiet noise into your shoulder. He’s so _different_ like this.

You reach out and smooth his hair before you realize you’re doing it. It’s a lot softer than it looks. You draw sleepy circles around his nubby little horns with your finger.

“This is better, right?” you ask. You then put your arm down and lean your own head on top of his, and then you fall asleep, too.

*~*~*

In the dream, you’re awake. Well, you’re not groggy, at least, and the movie isn’t playing anymore.

The technicolor rain of Rose’s dream-planet is helping with the awake-feeling. Everything here is too bright for comfort. You cast your gaze around for Karkat, but only see shoeprints in the sand that lead to a bright pink building. You decide to follow them.

In the building, Karkat is pacing in front of a transportalizer.

“Karkat,” you say. He turns, relief plain on his face.

“I can’t believe it actually worked,” he says. “I didn’t want to go through in case it took you to a different memory.”

“We gotta go through together,” you reply, taking his hand and pulling him to the transportalizer. “That’s the trick, right?”

“Does it work with two people at a time?” Karkat blinks up at you. His eyes are so big, like this. “We won’t get smashed together and put back wrong, will we?” You’ll get dizzy if you look into them too long.

“It’s a dream,” you say. “That means anything works if you want it to.” You steady yourself by pulling him with you into the platform, your hand on his back. Karkat gives a little yelp and clamps his arms around your neck. In the second right before you feel your atoms rearranging, you bring your face close so he can see your eyes through your shades when you smile.

Karkat starts to open his mouth, then you zap.

“Nothing to be afraid of, right?” you say. You haven’t moved. You don’t even know where you are. It probably doesn’t matter. You don’t want to move, you realize.

Karkat finally smiles back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie is Troll Elizabethtown.


	8. no one man should have all that power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horny teens touching horns. Direct continuation to the last chapter.

You and Karkat are holed up in some cavern in a dream-memory of his land, and while you’re not exactly sure, intellectually, why you’re currently making out against a boulder, next to a cherry-red pool of blood, you’re not exactly complaining, either. Part of you is, admittedly, freaking out a little from Karkat’s particular combination of dude and alien, but you’ll deal with that later. For now, you’re going to just enjoy these moments while you’re still in them.

Karkat’s teeth are sharp, but not too dangerous as long as you don’t actively seek them out. Karkat has his arms around your neck again - which is doing wonderful things for your ego, by the way - and tugging you down so he doesn’t have to stand on his tiptoes. Karkat’s tongue is slightly rough, like a cat’s, but in a kind of neat way.

You’ve got one hand on the boulder and the other in Karkat’s hair, partly to retain your balance due to how awesome this is, and partly to keep him close, also because of how awesome this is. You honestly did not anticipate that you would be doing this with him, of all people, but goddamn, do you not want to stop. Past Dave is a genius, and should be recognized as such.

Present Dave is also a genius because Karkat really seems to like you touching his hair. You kind of massage your way up from the back of his neck to the top of his head, and from Karkat’s responses, he seems to like that just as much as you. His tongue scratches against yours again, and that gives you the bravery to touch one of his horns. It feels sort of like touching a really large fingernail, but it’s not entirely smooth, like a fingernail would be, with tiny little ridges like the rings of a tree, all stacked one on top of the other. Covering those ridges are hairs so short and densely-packed it feels like velvet, if velvet was slightly less soft.

Karkat’s breath hitches when your finger comes in contact with his horn, and then he makes a loud, cricket-like noise from the back of his throat that reverberates directly into your mouth. He also somehow both arches himself against you and hangs off your neck like he forgot how to stand up and holy shit, you did not know that was going to happen and that is way too much power for one person to have.

You should probably pause what is currently going on right now so you can actually process it in a semi-rational manner.

You pull away half a second before Karkat does, and you spend the next several seconds just staring at each other while you catch your breaths. Karkat’s eyes are wide, his lips parted just the smallest amount, his face reddening. Holy shit, his eyes are so big like this, all round and black, only the tiniest rings of grey and yellow surrounding his pupils.

Holy shit, you and Karkat just made out.

“I didn’t know it was going to do that,” you say.

“You would, if you’d actually let me read any of the novels I’ve recommended to you,” Karkat answers. Oh no, now he’s frowning again. You suddenly want to go back to the part where his lips were doing the thing they were just doing two minutes ago. Haha, wow, okay, that is definitely a thought that your brain just had.

Well, maybe not your brain.

“I, uh…” You feel your own face start to redden. “I’m not sure I know what just happened.”

“You started it,” Karkat retorts.

“I think I need to, like, sit down, or something,” you say. Or lie down face-first on the ground, and then pass out so you can wake up, and then never sleep again until everything stops being so confusing.

You plant your butt on the ground, and then just kind of stare blankly ahead, until Karkat sits down in front of you.

“So that, um,” you try again, then give up and just gesture vaguely to the top of your own head.

“Is one of the reasons it’s polite to ask a troll before you do that, and to definitely never do that in public, ever?” Karkat finishes for you.

Oh, okay. So that’s like… troll second base, then. The twice-as-cool Future Dave who will gloriously achieve this important life milestone has moved through being Present Dave so swiftly that he’s already Past Dave. Huh. And before, you’d thought it was only because Karkat was so ornery, all the time.

Wait, you should probably apologize. That is definitely the thing you should be doing.

“I’m sorry?” you say. “I, uh…” Use your words, Dave. “I am gonna be really blunt with you for a sec because I need to let you know that I have never done any of the stuff we just did with a guy before,” and when a girl was involved, you were too dead to appreciate it, though that’s kind of not the point right now, “and I’m trying really hard not to freak out about that right now, because of, um,” your numerous personal neuroses? “cultural reasons, and I honestly forgot that you’d said that to me, because I was moderately to severely distracted by, uh, the obvious thing that was just happening,” of course Karkat knows what the thing is, he was there, he was definitely involved in that, goddamn, “but I’m sorry, and I will definitely ask you for permission first, next time.” Yes, now that you’ve apologized, Karkat will definitely let you do that again because that was kind of the raddest thing ever.

…Wait, next time? Focus, Dave.


	9. Twin Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat watch Good Luck Chuck for the first time. Karkat makes a plan. Dave is very confused.

"Let's watch this one," you say. Dave immediately blanches.

"What?" he protests. "No, oh no, definitely not. Not gonna do it."

"But it's Dane Cook, Dave." You've always wanted to see a Human Dane Cook movie. "This is going to be a masterpiece." Troll Dane Cook, of course, was a brilliant actor, of the kind few could dream to approach in breadth of proficiency and emotion. It makes you want to weep, at times, when you think of how much poorer the universe is for having lost him to the Vast Glub. A bright star of poetic eloquence, snuffed out too soon; the rest is silence. Surely, Human Dane Cook must have been as transcendental as his Alternian counterpart.

"I know it's Dane Cook," Dave replies. "That's how I know this movie is gonna suck."

"You have no appreciation for art, do you?"

"Whatever," Dave says, "we can watch the stupid movie. But I reserve the right to tell you I told you so when you end up hating it."

~*~*~*~

You are sitting on the couch with Dave, watching Good Luck Human Chuck. It is a very different movie from the Alternian version. It is, quite possibly, the worst movie you have ever seen, and you have seen a _lot_ of bad movies in your six-odd sweeps of life. It's even worse than the Nic Cage sorcerer movie Vriska made you all sit through, until you, Rose, and Dave had executed your escape plan mid-film.

You're not going to admit that to Dave, though. You've got to endure this.

"Oh my god," Dave complains into your shoulder. "I can't believe there's almost an hour left of this thing." He keeps nodding off, then trying to rouse himself in little jolts. "I can't even appreciate the cinematography 'cause it bites, too."

"Are you kidding?" you lie through your teeth. "This movie is solid gold."

"It's solid something," Dave says, then mimics the sound of someone using a load gaper. "Putting penguins in this movie is animal cruelty. Making me watch this thing is Dave cruelty."

"I don't know what you're talking about," you insist. "This has been hilarious all the way through." Dave laughs the fakest laugh you've ever heard, which sounds kind of like what you imagine icefowl cruelty to sound like. "You really need to adjust your cinematic palate into something less woefully amateurish." Dave apparently chooses not to dignify that with a response. "I've got a long list of quality Alternian movies ready just for the occasion," you continue, "and as I've said before, if you put the effort into appreciating their cultural context, you could come away with some really valuable lessons on..."

Dave has fallen asleep again. You wait another few moments to make sure, then give Human Dane Cook a hearty helping of the central digit of your finger with the arm Dave isn't resting his head on. You decide to let Dave sleep so you can keep making disgusted faces at the screen. The movie is just... it's just _that atrocious._

A little more into the movie, during what is probably the worst montage in any universe, you get an eyeful of Human Dane Cook's human bulge.

You're not quite sure what to make of that. You glance down at Dave, who is, in fact, still asleep. You glance back at the screen with a little grimace, then back down at Dave again.

Well.

At least you know now that Dave's doodles from that ouija incident were reasonably accurate, if badly drawn. And that he was not, in fact, drawing you riding on some type of rocketship. _Astride_ it, even. That was the word Dave had used.

You're going to have to get him back for that, aren't you?

~*~*~*~

"Dave?"

"Mmmrgh..."

"Dave."

"Mmrrkt."

"Dave, wake the fuck up."

"No." You're comfy. Karkat's warm.

"The movie's over. You don't have to pretend to be asleep anymore."

"You gonna admit it was terrible?"

"It was a bit formulaic," Karkat says, "but nothing I haven't seen in other romcoms, really."

You lift your head up to look at him skeptically.

"Are you serious?" you ask him. "Even the part with the wheelbarrow?"

"Why would it be?" Karkat blinks at you, confused. Uh, maybe because that was the part with the view of Dane Cook no one ever needed to see? "That was pretty pedestrian, to be honest, compared to some of the stuff Sollux has sent me in the past. You still haven't seen that series of folders, have you?"

"...Nno?" You've been too nervous about the risk of running into something similar to the weirder parts of Furaffinity, honestly. "You didn't have any questions about, uh..." man, how can you word this without it being awkward, "...differences between human culture and troll culture?"

Karkat considers this for a few seconds, then smiles.

"Nope!" he says brightly. "I would've asked you about the icefowls, and why no one bothered eating them or the blubbertubes, but then I remembered that's something only seadwellers get to eat, really." Is he talking about the penguins and the seals?

"So there's, uh, nothing unusual about the movie at all to you?"

"...No, I can't think of anything," Karkat replies, still smiling. "It was a pretty average movie, all around."

Despite yourself, you are still thinking about Dane Cook's dong. You think about Karkat not being surprised by Dane Cook's dong. You think one more time about Karkat's theoretical dong, and the nights you spent lying awake, alternately worrying and keeping yourself busy imagining if it was something incompatible with your own anatomy or not.

You and Karkat must be totally compatible dickways, after all. Boning your alien boyfriend is a thing you can totally do without any complications whatsoever.

Sweet.

"You look pretty pleased with yourself," Karkat says. "What is it?"

"I'll tell you when I haven't had to stare at Dane Cook for a while," you reply. Karkat likes being romantic, after all. You've got to wait until the mood is right.

~*~*~*~

A few days later, you and Karkat are sitting on your bed, in your room, making out, and it's getting a little heated. You've got one hand in Karkat's hair teasing a horn, and the other slipping under the bottom edge of his turtleneck. Karkat is making some pretty choice alien sounds into your throat, his fingernails scratching pleasantly at your neck and his back arching against you. This is normally the part where you'd dial it back a little to keep it PG-13, but your Dane Cook revelation a few days ago has changed your mind about it.

Instead of taking a break or winding down, you pin Karkat to the bed and grind down into his thigh. Karkat gasps into your mouth, then breaks away to look at you.

"Dave..." Karkat says, in between breaths.

"I was thinking," you reply. The thought's origin was not your brain, admittedly, but it's been running through your head pretty consistently since then. "About cultural exchange." No, that's a terrible way to say it. That sounds like something Rose would say.

Wow, no, Dave, you should really _not_  be thinking about your sister at a time like this. You grind against Karkat again to get yourself back on track.

"What?" Karkat blinks up at you. His eyes are doing the owl-bug thing again, which means his pupils are blown so wide, the sclera is nearly invisible. He's still panting up at you. You can even see the crimson flush under the gray of his skin.

"We should, uh..." You stroke at his horn again and wedge your leg into his crotch. "We should maybe not be wearing so many clothes." You're no Captain Kirk, alright, but you're trying your best, dammit. "'Cause I would definitely like to do that, if that's a thing you're down with doing."

"This thing?" Karkat asks, looking down and moving his hand to the front of your pajamas and pressing against your hardon.

"Yyeah..."

"Are you sure you have the endurance for that?" Karkat asks. "Or whatever the human equivalent of the second paralytic gland is?"

"I'm pretty sure my gland is gonna blow you away," you insist. "We'll figure it out, no problem."

Karkat looks back up at you, then grins, almost wicked. It sends a shiver up your spine in the best way.

"I thought you were never going to ask," he says. He flips you onto your back, reversing your positions, which you weren't really expecting but are totally chill with.

Until, for some reason, he gets up and starts walking to the door.

"You're givin' me some mixed signals, here," you say, voice faint.

"Don't be ridiculous," Karkat replies. "I'm just getting the hazmat materials."

"...The what?" you ask, sounding a little like a rodent that's been stepped on.

"Hazmat," Karkat repeats, then grins again. "I have to prepare the containment area." He leaves your room, shutting the door behind him.

You flop back down on your bed with another little whimper. So much for simple human-alien boning.

~*~*~*~

Once you've finished with a few choice curses towards Karkat while staring at the ceiling, you get yourself under control again and go looking for the "containment area".

"Hello, Dave," Rose says as you pass through one of the common areas. You start to give her an absent wave, until you see she's sandwiched in between Kanaya and Vriska, and they're all looking at a very thick book with a wizard on the front, and you falter. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," you respond, a little too quickly. Rose begins to smile, and you realize that you've just fucked up. "I'm great. How's it going? Have you seen Karkat?" Rose smiles wider. Your mouth keeps moving, the traitor. "I was looking for him. Have you seen him? Not that it's super important, obviously, I was just kinda curious about where he was. Is he with the Mayor or Terezi somewhere?"

"I think he asked to borrow my alchemy equipment," Rose says. You feel your face start to heat up. "I was happy to lend it, of course. We've been making a lot of progress lately, haven't we, Kanaya?"

You're going to _die_.

"I agree," Kanaya replies. "I've been very satisfied with the results so far."

You're going to die, right this very moment, without even getting the _chance_  to bone Karkat.

"Hey, I helped too!" Vriska exclaims. "You two had no idea what you were doing until I stepped in."

"I'll admit you added a fresh perspective to the endeavor," Rose says, "but I maintain that the whole thing was my idea in the first place." It takes a lot of effort not to whimper again.

"That's great," you say, again too quickly; it comes out kind of strangled. "I have to go now, thanks a ton, see you around sometime later that's not now, bye." You start to power-walk as quickly as you can without flashstepping to the other exit of the room.

"Oh, Dave, wait," Rose says. You halt, and then turn around as casually as you can.

"Sup?" Rose looks way too pleased with herself. You're not being casual at all, are you?

"I also alchemized you some apple juice," she replies. "Let me get it." She hands the book to Kanaya and walks over to one of the little cabinets.

Oh. _Oh_. You instantly forgive her and follow her like a lost duckling. Penguin. _Some_ fucking bird, anyway.

"You're the _best_ , Rose, oh my god." Rose pulls a bottle of apple juice out of the cabinet and sticks a little swirly straw in it. "Holy shit, that is actually genuine apple juice, it's like fucking Christmas up in here."

"Have fun," Rose smiles at you, then winks, _knowingly_. You blush to the roots of your hair, then reflexively flashstep out of the room.

~*~*~*~

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
TG: dude where are you  
CG: I'M ALMOST DONE GETTING THINGS READY.  
CG: MEET ME OVER IN SECTION 4-B, IN THE ROOM JUST PAST THE SECOND SET OF TANKS. IF YOU SEE THE THE BISHOP ONES, YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.  
TG: ok but  
TG: you should get there soon  
TG: you kind of left me hanging  
CG: SORRY ABOUT THAT. THERE WERE NECESSARY ELEMENTS TO PREPARE.  
CG: I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU, I PROMISE.  
TG: nnnnnn  
CG: JUST GIVE ME A FEW MINUTES TO FINISH ALCHEMIZING THIS STUFF.  
TG: what do you even need to make  
CG: EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED.  
TG: youre killing me here  
CG: I'LL BE THERE SOON.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

You walk down the corridors of section 4-B, slowly sipping your apple juice, trying to savor it and make the bottle last as long as possible. There are noises in the vents; you tune them out as best you can.

You're not nervous about Karkat's hazmat alien junk. Nope, everything is going to be so completely vanilla, it'll make Disney Princess movies look like grade-a kink. Well, maybe not Beauty and the Beast or Little Mermaid, because you have _seen some shit_ on Furaffinity, but that's not the point. That is _not_  the point.

The point is, you and Karkat are finally going to do the full sex, and it will be awesome and not weird and oh god, you're going to get alien pregnant, aren't you?

~*~*~*~

In the room in question, behind a lockable steel door, there is only a table that's been cleared off of old science equipment, save a large, plastic sheet, and a busted computer on a small corner table with a chair.

You look at the science equipment; there are several vials, a tangle of tubes, a Bunsen burner, and a jar that says POTASSIUM CHLORIDE: DO NOT INGEST.

“Good, you made it.”

You jump and spin. Karkat is standing the doorway, holding a roll of paper under one arm and a box the size of a small dog under the other.

“What's that stuff?” you ask cautiously.

“Just a few things,” Karkat replies, walking into the room and putting the stuff on the table. “Can you go shut the door? Thanks.” You close the door and punch a few buttons on the panel to lock it. “I need another minute or two, and then we can start.”

You turn back to Karkat. He has a large, metal file in one hand, which he is using on something in the box.

“Uh, Karkat…” You almost don't want to ask, but you're beginning to worry, just the slightest amount. You take a sip of apple juice to calm your nerves.

“You should take a look at those diagrams I made,” Karkat says, still filing away. You take another sip of apple juice and lean over to see what he's doing.

Karkat is zesting a lemon into the bottom of a small bowl, which is currently inside a larger bucket. Also in the bowl is something that smells like chile juice, paprika, and cayenne pepper.

“Um…” you start again.

“Did you look at the diagrams?” Karkat asks you. You shake your head no. He looks up. “You're not allergic to shellfish, right?” You shake your head no again. “Good, because this would probably get a little awkward otherwise.”

You sip more alarmingly at your juice, until your straw makes that sucking sound that tells you there is no more juice in your future for a while. There is only shellfish and peppers, apparently.

Karkat removes the bowl from the bucket and puts it into the table. Then he takes out some kind of dough and begins folding the lemon-pepper-paprika juice into it.

“This isn't really what I pictured when I imagined us doing a hot lemon,” you say. Karkat looks over at you slyly, just a hint of fang showing.

“Shouldn't you be studying those diagrams, Dave?” He replies, voice husky. You gulp, then finally go over to look at the diagrams.

On the paper, Karkat has drawn a crude approximation of a human penis. The penis is wearing sunglasses.

“Oh my god, you son of a-”

“Don't talk with your mouth full,” Karkat says, popping a large lump of the dough into your mouth. It tastes pretty much like drinking straight hot sauce, which you have actually done before.

“Mrrffmrgh,” you say, then swallow it down. “I'm going to make out with you so hard.”

“And exactly how hard is that?” Karkat asks, raising a single eyebrow.

You go on to explain to him in great detail, right there on the table. You're pretty sure you also get the last laugh because Karkat can't handle his concoction on his own tongue, let alone yours.

“Okay,” Karkat says after a little while, “go brush your teeth. If we're doing this, I don't want wherever hell chemicals Rose gave me anywhere near my nook.”

“Your what?” Hey, he still wants to do it though, that's awesome.

“You didn't think we actually needed hazmat materials, did you?” Karkat stares at you flatly. “All you need is a bucket, something waterproof, and a decently worshipful attitude.” He pauses a moment. “And I’d also rather go back to your room because this table is killing my back.”

“Worshipful is definitely a thing I can do,” you confirm, allowing yourself to imagine just what Karkat is going to look like back in your room. “Because you definitely don't have weird pincers or feelers or spores or anything else I should know about that might get me alien-pregnant, right?”

“Don't be ridiculous, Strider,” Karkat replies. “I have a bulge and a nook, just like every other troll. I doubt you even have the proper anatomy to receive any of the _really_ enthusiastic spores.”

You whimper. Your junk is so _confused_  right now.

“I'm _joking_  about the spores,” Karkat says. “Now, let's go back to your room, and until then, you can think about why drawing me on a giant human ... _thing_  is less funny when I only got the joke because I watched a shitty Human Dane Cook movie.” He stashes the bucket in his sylladex, and you both start walking back.

“You actually thought it was a shitty movie?” You wrap an arm around his shoulder, and Karkat leans into you comfortably.

“Of _course_ it was shitty, Dave. Give me some credit.”

“I'll give you all the credit,” you whisper into his ear. “I'll give you credit for _hours_.” Karkat shoves you with his shoulder, but you see him blush when he grins directly after.


	10. Our Longest Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave gets down with his sad self, and Karkat tries to help. This may or may not involve blingees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on [this art](http://sweatmeats.tumblr.com/post/121155853622/can-town-is-closed-2day-for-some-contemplation) by sweatmeats@tumblr
> 
> Woefully unbeta'd.

You like to save up your sorrow, spend it only when you need it. Let your emotional piggy bank get fatter and fatter, until you break out the proverbial mallet and play piñata on the motherfucker like it’s somebody’s seventh birthday. Look at you, all rolling in your current depression like Scrooge McDuck in his ball pit of money, and this metaphor is getting shittier and shittier and just making you feel worse, isn’t it?

You don’t even have a mallet; that’s John’s thing, now. Not that he’s ever spent over an hour sitting in a room of cans spacing out or actively wallowing, which is what you’re currently doing.

You are sitting on a giant stack of Tab cans, your arms resting on your knees and your head hung down towards the floor, and you are wallowing. You don’t even have the decency to wallow about anything in particular today, either, it’s just a feeling of general malaise and inadequacy that’s settled over you like a heavy blanket you can’t shake off. When you try to find a specific incident from today or even yesterday to blame your current funk on, you can’t pinpoint anything with ease. You made the mistake twenty minutes ago of digging further back than this week, which quickly got even less fun, so you firmly set your malaise range for seven days and no higher. Anything else is overkill, and you really should know better than that.

You were a real neurotic asshole this week, weren’t you? You’re sure that if you asked anybody else on the meteor, they’d disagree with you, and again, you can’t really think of a specific example yourself, but there must be something. There’s usually something. That’s how these things are supposed to work.

“What the fresh fuck are you doing?”

Shit. You thought the Mayor was distracting him today.

“Sitting.”

“How long have you been in here by yourself?”

“Can town is closed today for some contemplation. The place is undergoing serious renovations. I ain’t done adjusting the place yet.”

“Come on, stop rapping and get up.” You can hear his shoes stepping around the cylindrical infrastructure as he makes his way towards you.

“Don’t race ahead of the current pace I’m in. Is this crabby indignation what I’m gonna be faced with?”

“ _Dave_.” He stops right in front of you; you don’t look up.

“What.”

“This is depressing, get up.”

“What if I don’t feel like getting up.” You can’t stop feeling like shit until you’re good and done. No one likes a quitter.

Karkat sighs loudly, then plops himself at your feet and leans his head against your leg. You relax muscles you hadn’t realized were tensing up.

“Stop trying to do everything by yourself,” Karkat says quietly. You drop the hand closest to him to fall around his shoulder; he holds it there.

“…I’m not,” you lie, belatedly. Karkat doesn’t say anything. “It’s a reflex, at this point. Like riding a bicycle.” Not that there’s a bicycle on the meteor to ride, but that’s not the point. You’re not sure what the point is supposed to be, exactly, except not that.

“You could’ve come and talked to me.”

“Didn’t wanna bother you.”

“Contrary to what some misinformed losers may think, I happen to like being bothered by you.” He bites, tenderly, on your exposed wrist.

“Can I get that in writing?” you ask.

“You can get it in bold sparkle font with a fake gold chain stamp on it.” Your intense contemplation is suddenly pasted over by what might be the most affectionate blingee in existence. Despite your best efforts, you feel your frown evening out.

“A tacky gif? That’s playing dirty, you know I can’t resist those.”

“I can put glitter on it too, if you want,” Karkat adds. You dare a glance at him; the corner of his mouth is twitching up like you feel your own mouth attempting a cautious smile.

“Careful, I might just swoon.”

“You’d have to look at it in my room, though,” Karkat says.

“Would I.” Yeah, you’re definitely daring a smile, now. It’s hanging on a little haphazardly, but it’s there.

“We could go look at it right now.” Karkat squeezes your hand gently.

You make an effort to replace the malaise inside you with affection. Not that you can get rid of it, but at least there’s something else to carry around, too.

“‘Kay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Make Them Gold by CHVRCHES.
> 
> I don't expect anyone to actually get this, but if you know what other novel summary this chapter summary is referencing, you deserve both a gold medal and another drabble.


End file.
